Benromach Single Malt 10 yr. / Macallan 10 yr. / Glen Grant Rothes Speyside 10 yr. / The Glenlivet Captain's Reserve

 

Price: $69.95 (750 ml)

Location of Distillery: Forres, Speyside, Scotland

Max's Review

• Overall Rating: 7
• Smokiness: 4
• Sweetness: 4
• Velvety in texture, gives off hints of allspice , forest fruits, and a real musty/woody feel.
• Not overly aromatic, a slight peaty-ness with sherry notes can be detected.
• All in all, nothing to complain about with this scotch. Really cuts the edge off a long day dealing with a 1 year old.

Price: $75??? (750 ml) - no longer on LCBO

Location of Distillery: Aberlour, Scotland

Matt's Review

• Overall Rating: 4
• Smokiness: 0
• Sweetness: 3
• The delightful hints of brown sugar and toffee on the nose falsely mislead you into thinking you're going to enjoy this scotch. 
• Mildly sweet on the tongue, but nothing of particular note aside from just tasting like a generic whisky. 
• The bubblegum after taste is kind of gross and reminds me why this has been sitting on my countertop for over a year (and will continue to).

Price: $65.00 USD (750 ml)

Location of Distillery: Easter Elchies Craigellachie, Scotland

Will's Review

• Overall Rating: 7
• Smokiness: 6
• Sweetness: 4
• The aroma dabbles in almond, jam, and peat-reek
• The entree dips its sac à balles in sandalwood, rubber, and sulfur
• The follow-through is a slam dunk madeira cake
• The finish rings like a custard bell

Price: $75.95 (750 ml)

Location of Distillery: The Glenlivet, Banffshire, Scotland

Steve's Review

• Overall Rating: 7.2
• Smokiness: 3
• Sweetness: 4
• Doesn't really have much a flavour or smell at first....but in a weird way its still good in spite of that. Or maybe because of that? I'm not sure.
• It is pleasant, light and a little sweet. I guess its like sitting on a nice beach with refreshing breeze. 
• That'll definitely hit the spot some of the time, but there will also be times where you want to sailing with a stiff breeze, pushing the boat as fast as it will go.....I was expecting the Captain's Reserve to be more the latter buts the former is good too I suppose.

Random Category - What would you protest while drinking this scotch?

Will -  Would pull up to my local McDonald's, set up a beer pong table and camp chair in the Drive Thru line, and then protest against the canceling of the McStuffins. Why would they stop making their best idea of all time? How did they make the name so damn kinky?

"I'm out here huffin', for my damn McStuffin!"   "We aren't bluffin', where's our McStuffin?"   "Bush did nine-eleven, McStuffin was heaven!"

These are the shouts that I would cry over and over until my voice failed, my pants covered in Big Mac sauce, and my fedora tattered.

Steve - Definitely something high-brow. The lightness would let you focus clearly on the issue.
Maybe something like how the proliferation of mobile devices, social media and constantly striving to consume the latest content is leading to general anxiety, depression, derealization and dissociative type disorders amongst the youth. I guess if anyone ever sums up the attention span to protest something like that.

Max - The amount of plastic used in kids toys....everything is made of plastic!! The woody smell of this scotch just makes me appreciate the old school wood toys more and more. Something about this scotch just makes me want to chant "I want more wood, give me more wood!".

Matt - Patrick Rothfuss not finishing The Doors of Stone. This scotch makes you think something good is coming and it just doesn't

Dewar's 12 Yr. Blended Scotch Whiskey

Price: $45.15 (750 ml)

Location of Distillery: Perthshire, Scotland

Max's Review

• Overall Rating: 7
• Smokiness: 5
• Sweetness: 4
• Notes of floral and Adriatic ocean mist
• Vanilla hazelnut and raison flavours make this very well bodied and pleasing to the palette
• A refreshing scotch, neat; clean; poised
• Adding some ice makes this a great summer drink

The Glenlivet 12 Yr. Single Malt Scotch Whiskey

Price: $45.75 (750 ml)

Location of Distillery: Banffshire, Scotland

Max's Review

• Overall Rating: 8
• Smokiness: 3
• Sweetness: 6
• Well balanced, subtle hints of fruit and honey, very smooth on the tongue
• Woody, peaty finish with a good amount of warmth
• Great scotch to have on a casual Tuesday night

Glenfuadain 53 yr. Single Malt

Price: $1395.00 (750 ml)

Location of Distillery: Isle of  Levenish, Scotland

History: On May 18th, vampire rapist Wayne Boden's last victim was found. Admist his artifacts, a rare bottle of Glenfuadain scotch was found hidden in the floor boards of the victim's apartment. This rare bottle is part of a limited edition small batch that was produced by the Glenfuadain Distillery.

Established in 1567, the Glenfuadain Distillery is notorious for it's mysterious dwellings on the Isle of Levenish. As the story goes, the distillery is buried deep within the isle and only those who are part of the calling are privy to its whereabouts. Glenfuadain is known as the pride of the enigmatic Isle of Levenish.

Steve's Review

• Overall rating:6.75 
• Smokiness: 3
• Sweetness: 2
• A little bit soft. Not much of a taste, maybe a little bit of some kind of soft tree like spruce, maybe oak like Max says but watered down. Again not much of a taste but pleasantly tickles your tastebuds on the way down.

Will's Review

• Overall rating: 5 
• Smokiness: 5
• Sweetness: 5
• Meh

Max's Review

• Overall Rating: 7
• Smokiness: 4
• Sweetness: 5
• Pretty run-of-the-mill kind of scotch. Nice amber colour and a bold oaky taste
• Not too strong on the nose, just smells like scotch

Random Category - If Matt asked to have some of this scotch, what would you say?

Max/Steve/Will - Fuck No...you low down, break dancin', VW drivin', mechanical engineerin', formula lovin', dubstep listenin', DOTA playin', south park quotin', bicycle ridin', hip thrustin', skinny ass motherfucker!

Tomintoul Tlath Single Malt

Price: $56.95 (750 ml)

Location of Distillery: Ballindalloch, Speyside, Scotland

Max's Review

• Overall Rating: 8
• Smokiness: 3
• Sweetness: 7
• Distinctly a Speyside scotch. Vanilla and hazelnut hints on the nose, and flavors of mint leaf and caramel on the palate.
• A light easy drinking scotch, good for any occasion

Signal Hill

Price: $39.95 (750 mL)

Location of distillery: St. John's, Newfoundland,
Canada

Max's Review:

• Overall rating: 6
• Sweetness: 9
• Smokiness: 2
• Hints of vanilla can be smelled through the over powering varnish aroma
• Very sweet, tastes like dried fruits and maple syrup (not surprising) that are somewhat kept in check with enough water/ice
• This tasted better in the store

Will's Review:

• Overall rating: 5
• Sweetness: 8
• Smokiness:2
• The initial nose was medicinal and solvent-like. The taste is quite sweet, like a first date, and persists, unlike a first sex. Hints of tire rubber and licorice. Not my style of scotch.

Steve's Review:

• Overall rating: 4
• Sweetness: 9.something
• Smokiness: 0
• Its got a initial sickly sweetness that punches you in the face and lingering medicinal aftertaste that steals your kidney and leaves you to wake up in a bathtub full of ice
• Not much of anything you would call...."taste"
• Texture is like ...water....

Random Category - If this scotch was a bumper sticker, what would it be?
Max - "I'd rather not be drinking Signal Hill"
Steve - or "I Love My Country But Hate Signal Hill"
Will - "My other pussy is a bottle of Signal Hill"

Bowmore Small Batch

Price: $60.15 (750 mL)

Location of distillery: Bowmore, Islay, Scotland

Matt's Review:

• Overall rating: 4
• Sweetness: 4
• Smokiness: 4
• Not really that flavourful or special. Tastes of caramel and toffee, with faint hints of smoke on the finish. You can easily do better
• I would liken choosing this over another scotch to selecting 6061 over 7050 in a large strength driven machined part where cost isn't a huge deal. You could, but why would you? 
• Would not buy again - It was probably small batch for a reason

Random Category - Which Overwatch hero does this scotch bring to mind?
Matt - Sombra on defence. They may hack health packs or something, but you wonder what/if your teammate was thinking when they picked her into a Genji, Winston and Lucio dive comp