MacPhail's Collection Orkney Single Malt / Old Pulteney / Crown Royal

MacPhail's Collection Orkney Single Malt


Location of Distillery: Orkney, Scotland

Price: $89.00 (750ml)

Will's Review

• Overall rating: 7
• Smokiness: 6
• Sweetness: 5
• Quite decent. Like a child colouring in their notebook and trying to stay between the lines. They will inevitably mess it up but we tell them it's good anyway.

Old Pulteney


Location of Distillery: Wick, Scotland

Price: $89.65 (750ml)

Steve's Review

• Overall rating:
• Smokiness:
• Sweetness:

Max's Review

• Overall Rating: 6
• Smokiness: 3
• Sweetness: 4
• Very meh, run-of-the-mill sort of scotch, nothing really standards out. That being said, still an easy drinking scotch that's got good hints of vanilla and amber, slight hue of chocolate on the nose, and has a warm almost fiery sensation

Crown Royal Deluxe

 

















Location of Distillery: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Price: $41.95 (1140ml)

Matt's Review

• Overall Rating: 8
• Smokiness: 0
• Sweetness: 5
• Fruity tastes on top of a woody body with hints of honey. Nothing fancy, but an old easy drinking staple that gets the job done

Random Category - What image best describes this scotch?


Will -

Steve -

Max -

Matt -

A New Era

As our fellow scotch drinkers have moved to distant lands, we will be changing the format in how we present our prestigious ratings for the liquid amber we all cherish so dearly.

Since it will be difficult for us all to be drinking the same scotch at each meeting, we will each rate the scotch we have had that night. This will be a huge paradigm shift, but I think our fan base will understand.

Cheers,

Three Guys Three Cups

The Singleton 12 yr.

Price: $55.95 (750 ml)

Location of Distillery: Dufftown, Speyside, Scotland

Steve's Review

• Overall rating:6.75 
• Smokiness: 3
• Sweetness: 2
• A little bit soft. Not much of a taste, maybe a little bit of some kind of soft tree like spruce, maybe oak like Max says but watered down. Again not much of a taste but pleasantly tickles your tastebuds on the way down.

Max's Review

• Overall Rating: 7
• Smokiness: 4
• Sweetness: 5
• Pretty run-of-the-mill kind of scotch. Nice amber colour and a bold oaky taste
• Not too strong on the nose, just smells like scotch

Random Category - Should we induct Matt Brymer into the scotch group? Give at least one reason to validate your claim.

Will - No. But your sister is welcome to join.
Steve - No. IQ is too high. This is a scotch club, not MENSA. Also...no stupid 'muricans allowed!!!
Max - Fuck No...you low down, break dancin', VW drivin', mechanical engineerin', formula lovin', dubstep listenin', DOTA playin', south park quotin', bicycle ridin', hip thrustin', skinny ass motherfucker!

Islay Mist 8 yr.

Price: $30.85 (750 ml)

Location of Distillery: Isle of Islay, Scotland

Bruichladdich - The Classic Laddie

Price: $69.95 (750 ml)

Location of Distillery: Isle of Islay, Scotland

Steve's Review

• Overall rating: 7
• Smokiness: 7
• Sweetness: 7.5
• 
  

Max's Review

• Overall Rating: 8
• Smokiness: 6
• Sweetness: 5
• Almost medicinal on the nose, very lightly peated, and a little bit of smoke to give it that burning ash taste you get when you eat a marshmallow that has been dropped in the coals
• Has a silky texture that makes it really smooth

Tamdhu 10 yr. Single Malt

Price: $87.95 (750 ml)

Location of Distillery: Speyside, Scotland

Steve's Review

• Overall rating: 8.5
• Smokiness: 6
• Sweetness: 5
• Nice dark colour. Tastes like fire...a spicy fire. Doesn't leave much of an aftertaste. Take it slow otherwise the spiciness builds up too much. Drinking it is like tamming a wild fiery horse .. made of spicey scotch.

Max's Review

• Overall Rating: 7.5
• Smokiness: 6
• Sweetness: 5
• Beautiful amber colour and a bold smokey smell. Very wel balanced
• Lots of woody flavours that remind me of campfires

Random Category - What loathsome and damnable qualities in Will are you reminded of when drinking this scotch?

Max:
- Inability to dance
- Complete lack of judgement in rating scotchs
- Ditches friends often
- Still lives in his grandma's basement
- Can't hold his liquor
- Can't drive stick
- Abhorrent navigation and orientation skills
- Gap in his teeth
- Never had a real job (planting trees doesn't count)
- Least successful family member
- Wears jeans that are too tight...seriously, too tight
- Consistently completes homework after the term has ended
- His girlfriend is...meh
- Doesn't know how to play an instrument
- Excessively flosses
- Only has two friends
- Can't grow facial hair

Steve:
- Poor calculus skills
- His love of unnecessarily high quality audio files
- Shitty taste in electronic music (fuck Pete Tong)
- Inability to finish bracelet projects on schedule
- Doesn't know how to skate
- Terrible at escape rooms
- Pot smoking redneck New Brunswick trailer trash
- Steve Jobs fan boy
- Lovely white radiant skin,
- Lack of commitment to the gym (fat ass)
- Horrid taste in Youtube compilation videos (fuck Spi0n)
- Throws axes like a girl
- Awful aim with a pellet gun
- Total lack of experience getting blow jobs (probably given more than received)
- Squeaked out 2 meaningless degrees from 3 shitty universities
- Thinks moving 3000 miles for a shit job is a good idea
- Liked you better when you were eating that unholy mix of hash browns, eggs, and tuna

Ledaig 10 yr. Single Malt

Price: $67.60 (750 ml)

Location of Distillery: Isle of Mull, Scotland

Steve's Review

• Overall rating: 8
• Smokiness: 6
• Sweetness: 4
• Pretty spicy, a little cinnamon taste. Pretty strong. I like the cut of its jib.

Max's Review

• Overall Rating: 8.5
• Smokiness: 8
• Sweetness: 4.5
• Delectable, smokey, peaty...with a good amount of sweetness to keep it balanced
• Not too harsh on the nose
• Tastes of caramel, hemp, and bonfires

Will's Review

• Overall Rating: 8.5
• Smokiness: 8
• Sweetness: 5
• Delicious. A bottle of pure gold. Reminds me of Laphroaig quarter cask - it's quite smokey and peaty. The flavour comes out with a little bit of warmth on the glass. 10/10 A++ would buy again

Random Category - What tactical thing would you have/use while drinking this scotch?

Will - The Unbreakable Umbrella by Tactical Things. Totally tacticular.
Max - I would take a tactical yoga class before drinking this fine scotch.
Steve - Tactical scotch glass. I also never leave home without my tactical underwear so those too obviously.

The Glenlivet Founder's Reserve

Price: $54.95 (750 ml)

Location of Distillery: Banffshire, Scotland

Max's Review

• Overall Rating: 6
• Smokiness: 2
• Sweetness: 2
• Very bitter, strong alcohol taste, medicinal like
• Needed water to cut the bitterness
• No real distinct flavours, just a light blend of fruits and oak

Steve's Review

• Overall rating: 5.5
• Smokiness: 1
• Sweetness: 4
• Doesn't taste like much really. Has a decent after taste, but weirdly no before taste. A little too alcoholy

Will's Review

• Overall Rating: 5
• Smokiness: 6
• Sweetness: 2
• It tastes very strong, even though it's only a 40%. The alcohol fumes coming off it caught me by surprise. It has a flavour of oranges, formaldehyde, sulfur.

Random Category - If this scotch were an Olympic sport, what would it be?

Max - Sailing. Kind of meh, a lot going back and forth like I can't make up my mind if I like it.
Steve - Olympic golf. Solidly a sport but missing some of the taste.
Will - Water polo. It's cool and all but I just don't get it.

Aberlour 12 yr.

Price: $69.95 (750 ml)

Location of Distillery: Highland Speyside, Scotland

Will's Review

• Overall Rating: 7
• Smokiness: 2
• Sweetness: 8
• "Sap-like", "mouth prickle", "struck matches", "madeira carry-over"
• Quite a sweet scotch, but not overbearing. I like scotch.

Max's Review

• Overall Rating: 7.5
• Smokiness: 4
• Sweetness: 5
• Subtle hints of peat, pepper, iodine, and sour patch kids. 
• Also smells a little woody, like sherry/oak.
• Has a nice rich, dark amber colour that makes it a very warm scotch

Steve's Review

• Overall rating: 6.667
• Smokiness: 5
• Sweetness: 6
• Pretty good but let down a little by a weird spice taste. Pepper or cinnamon with a little bit of medicine-y taste.

Random Category - If this scotch were a candy, what candy would it be?

Max - Cinnamon hearts, it has a good spice to it.
Will - Butterscotch sticks
Steve - This scotch compared to a really good scotch is like those green apple rings are to peach rings, or like swedish fish are to swedish berries.

Bowmore Single Malt 12 yr.

Price: $54.95 (750 ml)

Location of Distillery: Islay, Scotland

Max's Review

• Overall Rating: 7
• Smokiness: 5
• Sweetness: 6
• Sweet on the nose. Smells/tastes a little like burnt popcorn. Earthy, vinegary, and a little like new/rotting wood 

Will's Review

• Overall Rating: 8
• Smokiness: 7
• Sweetness: 6
• I caught a whiff of candy when the bottle was opened but it dissipated quickly. This is a great Scotch for the price. I would make this my day-to-day bottle if I had something resembling my own place and something resembling disposable income. I find it hard to pick specific tastes/scents out from it. I would say there is some rubber and earthy taste. 

Steve's Review

• Overall rating: 8.5
• Smokiness: 6
• Sweetness: 6
• Tastes like fire. Not so much smoke but definitely like fire. Not too strong, Nice finish and aftertaste. Tastes very finely machined, like locking a heavy safe door or running through the gears in my car, good stuff.

Random Category - What's the worst thing you would do to get a life time supply of this scotch?

Max - Feed a baby it's own shit
Steve - Punch a lifetime supply of babies
Will - Snort crack off a babies head

Macallan Amber

Price: $99.95 (750 ml)

Location of Distillery: Easter Elchies, Craigellachie, Scotland

Steve's Review

• Overall rating: 8.0
• Smokiness: 1.5
• Sweetness: 4
• Really well balanced. Tastes really good. Fuck you Max.

Max's Review

• Overall Rating: 8
• Smokiness: 2
• Sweetness: 6
• Smell's a little like Will's farts. Definitely has a sweet smell/taste which is evident from its amber colour
• Hints of vanilla, toffee, and rosewood that give it a well balanced taste.

Will's Review

• Overall Rating: 7
• Smokiness: 4
• Sweetness: 7
• Not bad. Not great. It certainly beats Catto's but I wouldn't have Matt Damon over to drink it.

Random Category - Where would you take this scotch travelling?

Steve - An Antarctic research station and snowed in over the winter.
Max - Switzerland. A little something to enjoy to stay warm after climbing the alps.
Will - Belarus. It would probably seem a lot better over there.

Deanston Single Malt

Price: $49.95 (750 ml)

Location of Distillery: East Kilbride, Scotland

Quentin's Review

• Overall rating: 6 
• Smokiness: 5
• Sweetness: 5
• Strong alcohol scent, hard to huff.  Alcohol is apparent with a slight burn on the upper roof of my mouth.  Notes of starch and the taste of chewing tylenol.  

Steve's Review

• Overall rating: F/U
• Smokiness: F/U
• Sweetness: F/U
• I'm too much of a fag to rate this scotch

Will's Review

• Overall Rating: 7 
• Smokiness: 7
• Sweetness: 4
• Has a pleasant woody taste. Quite a strong alcoholic scent that burns your nose if you smell it too closely. Hints of cigar boxes, leather, and cork. A memorable light Scotch that even ISIS would enjoy.

Max's Review

• Overall Rating: 7.5
• Smokiness: 5
• Sweetness: 4
• Reminds me of a wood cabin, and the smell of dew and fresh cut trees. 

Random Category - Which celebrity would you invite to scotch night?

Max - Tom Cruise
Quentin - Shia LaBeouf
Steve - Genghis Khan
Will - Matt Damon